Shane and I went to Manchester, NH last Friday/Saturday and stayed at a very nice Hilton hotel right in downtown. It was fun, fresh air but freezing cold.
I have pictures, but as I scrolled through my album I realized about 75% are of houses I saw and liked. I do like houses.
Lately I've been wondering if sometimes I care too much. I mean, I'm "friends" with two of my ex boyfriends, and sometimes I go out of my way, foolishly, to see how they are doing. I never get responses back, ever. It seems like I'm used only when they're lonely. I wonder if I think too often about them - not missing them by any means - while they think little or not at all of me. Why should it matter? Both proved to be great impacts on my life and I think of the time I had with them as nice, young and fun...but it seems they don't think the same way for me. Again, it shouldn't matter, it really really shouldn't, and I can't seem to figure out why I wonder too often about it. Maybe I care too much, maybe I am only bothering them when I send them a quick message "how are you?". I don't know. All I ever wanted out of those relationships was the friendship that it was built on. I never got it back.
Ciao.
2 comments:
its strange to read the same thoughts running through my mind. there are those of us who will always care, no matter how badly we are treated. and it hurts.
but you know, in the end, we're better people. because we care sincerely, while others use. i wish i could give you great words of advice. but you my dear are a wonderful person. and i'm sorry they do not treat you as you deserve.
i miss you!
i read... i read... but you dont care... its okay
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